i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
