Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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