Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
