***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
whose parrot is this?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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