He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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