Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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