Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
