Sry I called you an 8
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
