It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
