I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
