i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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