If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
