She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
