So drunk, too bad you don't want this
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
