Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Less talking, more tequila
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
