So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
3 2 1 whiskey
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
