watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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