i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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