So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
