And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
