It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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