Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
