Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
