So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
