Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
