ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
