yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
