How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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