so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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