JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
