counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
