Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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