remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
