I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
