He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
