she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
