I must be too annoying 4 u.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
