I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
