so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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