My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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