Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
