did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
