KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I FOUND THE LEGS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
