When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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