I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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