What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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