Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
