I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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