We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
