Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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